Hush, Angel
by CourtneyMillennium
Summary: What if Nora had a huge secret- a secret that could ultimately end her life. Will Patch be there to keep her up? *Mentions bulimia and cutting. Don't like don't read.*
1. Chapter 1

I sat in first period, staring at the clock as it's small hand ticked away at the seconds. It was the start of yet another school year, and the first day back was always antagonizing. It wasn't like I worried about what I was going to wear, sense I've been wearing the same things every day sense freshman year- skinny jeans, moccasins, and any assortment of t-shirts or hoodies. And it wasn't as if I needed to worry about my hair, either. It was a big mess of curls, and there wasn't much I could do about it. What DID worry me though, was the fact that there was going to be a whole new year of school with new classes and new teachers and new routine. Change scared me, almost as much as not being in control scared me.

The bell rang and I headed off to my second period class- health.

Those are the thoughts I had back in September. Now it was the week before Halloween, and things have calmed down a bit. Kinda. Patch, my awesome boyfriend, was still, in fact, awesome. Vee was still my best friend. I still wore the same clothes and my hair was still as unruly as ever. The only thing that changed were the barriers I was building up between Patch and I. Between Vee and me; also, my mother. It's been a year sense the first time I did it, and it's only gotten worse sense then. I don't know how nobody has found out my secret yet, but it was getting harder and harder to keep it.

There was a reason I was anemic.

There was a reason I was so depressed.

There was a reason for the "birthmark" on the inside of my wrist.

I stopped before school, of course. Because I felt better, and I didn't feel the need to do either of those things anymore. But after that thing with Jules happened…It all started back up again.

My hands got soaked with vomit and blood everyday, and my head felt like it was spinning. I spent my nights sleepless and tried not to let Patch invade my thoughts too much. Which I somehow managed to accomplish. Three weeks. That's all it took to get back into my bad habits, back into the same routines and same pain. I was dieing very slowly. And I wasn't sure how exactly I was still managing to smile through all of this. Then one word came to my mind. The one word that sent my heart into a frenzy and made my body quake with lust.

Patch.


	2. Chapter 2

" Hey." Said Patch, as he slid into the seat next to me. It was health class- again- and even though I didn't hate it as much as I once did, I wasn't too thrilled about the fact that all we managed to talk about in the past month was self-esteem. And how self-esteem related to sex. And how we shouldn't have sex if we didn't have enough self-esteem, because that would just make it worse. This teacher made no sense. "Hey." I said back, and he smiled over at me. My insides turned over in a frenzy of butterflies. He held my hand under the table and ran his thumb over my palm. " Alright class, today we have a guest speaker to talk to you all about how your self-esteem can effect your eating habits." The class groaned. I felt my face flush and my pulse speed up. I knew the dangers of what I was doing, and I didn't want some guest speaker telling me about it all over again. I raised my hand and asked to go to the lav.

I ran down the hall and locked myself in a stall, breathing heavily while trying not to make a big deal about the whole thing. It would have been a lot less suspicious if I hadn't left the room as soon as the lecture started. But just the mention of it put me on edge. I came out of the stall and splashed water in my face looking in the mirror. "Ahhh!" I screamed before a hand came and clapped over my mouth. "Hey, Nora! Calm down, it's just me. " My back slowly slipped down the length of Patch's body. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh of relief, still trying to shake the feeling that I saw Jules in the mirror, rather than Patch. " You've been gone for a long time. Are you alright?" Patch sat down beside me and I put my head on his shoulder. "I-I-I'm fine. What are you doing in here?" He put a hand reassuringly on my back. You've been gone for like, 20 minutes, so I snuck out of class to come get you." I blushed. That was so sweet of him. " Won't you get in trouble once he notices you're gone?"

"Do I seem like I care?" I giggled. "You're right. "

"Aren't I always?"

He slowly slid back into class, then I came back in 5 minutes later so nobody would notice. Everyone was staring at me when I got back and it made me self conscious. I HATED being stared at for no reason. The class ended 10 minutes later. Another lesson diverted. For now.

I arrived home to the sound of nothing. There was nobody in the house, and I was terrified. I didn't like being alone. I could call Patch, but as soon as I started to dial his number, I got the urge to do what I've been wanting to do all day.

I traveled around the house locking all the doors and windows, closing the curtains, making sure nobody would could walk in and catch me. Then I went back to the kitchen and got out a big dinner plate, and started arranging an assortment of junk food on it. Then I got a glass of water and started the routine.

4 minutes later I came out of the bathroom, feeling as if my whole body had been drained of it's energy. I cleaned up and brushed my teeth. I was putting the glass away when my head started to feel….strange. Everything was shifting around and spinning, and my legs felt like jell-o. I ran up to my bed room and lay down on my bed, trying to breath in and out as fast as I could, getting the feeling to pass as quickly as I could. It NEEDED to pass, and quickly. If it didn't, then I would either A.) die or B.) end up going to the hospital and having everyone find out my secret. Then Patch wouldn't want me anymore. I would be the disappointment to my mother I always knew I was. Vee would tell the whole school, and I would never be able to go back. The thought of it all sent me into a spiral of sobs and heavy breathing and more dizziness. I grabbed and Iron pill from the bottle on my bedside table and swallowed it without water. I felt it shakily slide down my dry throat before I felt my stomach heaving. I fell off of my bed and hunched over on my floor. Glad for the wooden flooring, in case I actually did throw up, it would be easier to clean. Yuck. The pill, bile and what looked to be blood landed on the floor in front of me. This could not be happening. I wasn't going to die like this. There was only one thing I could do- call either my mother, or Patch. I looked around my room, then realized that I left my phone downstairs. "Shit!" I screamed. I started crying as more blood poured out of my mouth, and more dizzy swirls of smoke clouded my vision. I decided to lay down- if I was going to die, I at least wanted to be comfy.

When I woke up it was dark outside. I felt like death had just chewed me u and spit me out. I shakily cleaned up the mess on my floor and took a shower, slipping into some comfy pajamas. I sat on the couch and rocked back and forth, closing my eyes and trying not to pass out again. I heard my phone vibrating on the counter , and looked over at the clock. It was 9:00. I'd been asleep for 5 hours! My mom was probably worried sick about me. I got up and slowly headed over for my phone. I picked it up and there were 10 missed calls. 1 from Vee, 4 from my mom, and 5 from Patch. I decided to call Mom first. When she answered I explained that I had been asleep all day, and that I was fine. " Are you sure honey? You sound a bit off." "I think it's just from sleeping so long. " She sighed into the receiver. "Well, if you're sure. I just called to tell you that I'll be gone away for work again, and the house keeper has the weekend off. I know it's Halloween weekend, but that doesn't mean I want you to be throwing and parties." I agreed and quickly hung up. Then I dialed Vee's number but got voice mail. I called Patch, and tried my best to sound ok. He always noticed when I wasn't right. He, obviously, DID notice, because he answered on the first ring, and answered with a quick "I'm coming over" and then hung up. Damn it. I tried my best to get ready. My hair was still wet, and I was in PJ's, for crying out loud! I decided to put on a pair of jeans and put a flannel over my cami, buttoning it up half way. I dried my hair with the blow dries super-fast, and by the time I was done he was knocking on the door. I opened the door and he threw his arm's around me, burying his head in my shoulder. When he looked back up at me, something told me that there was something wrong. "Nora…" Just by the way he said it, and by the way he looked at me, it told me that he knew. He closed the door behind him and I broke down crying.


End file.
